A Mother's Love

Sadly, today I attended the funeral of a friend's mum and despite the sadness of the occasion, I came away having been reminded of something important (other than the fact my brother has an A-level in Latin!)

As I listened to anecdotes that made me smile, laugh and shed a tear, I realised that they were centred on family and her role as a mum – she was a fabulous Mum.

In one anecdote where her then, teenage daughter was behaving as many teenagers do, she calmly told her ‘ I‘ll always love you but right now I don’t like you very much!’

The congregation all laughed but for me it rang true – a mother’s love is a constant that many of us take for granted.

We’ve all been stroppy, angry, frustrated and frustrating (I’m sure!) but we are all loved by our Mum’s through it all.

A mother’s love is truly special!

Today I was reminded that not only am I lucky enough to have a wonderful mum who loves me – I’m also a lucky enough to be a Mum and pass that love on - a real legacy.

Guilty pleasures!

So 2012 has started with an early attack of ‘GUILT!’

I am in that horrible position, where I have spent time doing something for me and am now wracked by guilt because I have not spent every moment of my weekend with my children.

I work hard in the week and consequently my children see little of me in term time but the pay back is that I am there all holiday. This seems like a good trade most of the time but during the manic terms where I am in school during the week and Saturday afternoons for ‘Games’ Sunday’s become the golden time  - the time I can spend with my family as a whole (when my husband is not working!)

But this week, I chose to employ someone to look after them for three hours while I went out to train with my ‘Touch Rugby’ team. Leaving them in more than capable hands, I headed out with a spring in my step!

 It was wonderful! My brain was filled with all sorts of new and exciting concepts. I was challenged physically and mentally  (a result of being about 10 years older than half the others and still suffering baby brain!) but I still loved every minute!

I’d forgotten how much I enjoy learning something new and bettering myself. I came back tired out but on a real high!

I was met by three children who had had a marvellous time at the park followed by a messy session of painting. But as the nanny left, my son cuddled into me and said ‘I missed you Mummy!’  Nuzzling his hair, I gave him a huge hug as a wave of guilt swept over me. I only have 12 hours to spend with them and I had wasted 3 on myself. My high was gone and I felt I had let them down, that I must be a terrible mother!

It was only today, after two days of guilt, that someone said to me ‘How cool to go and do something for yourself? Your children won’t look back as they take on the world, and if you’re not careful you will find you lost yourself under the title ‘Mum’! Enjoy your children, spend time with them but don’t beat yourself up if you have a goal outside of their sphere.’

I thought about this, and the more I thought, the more I realised that this is true. I love my Mum and we have a great relationship that certainly was not crippled by her playing Golf every Tuesday. The time we spent with a friends’ mother is hazy, it didn’t register as being odd or mean that mum didn’t love me enough; it was just part of life and I am sure she was a better mother for having that break from us.

I love my children and I love my husband but I now believe that it’s ok to love myself a little too!

Take a tip from Santa!

So it’s the New Year and you may have noticed I haven’t written since the end of term. Well it turns out, I’m not an uber- mum.

Juggling children, family visits, Christmas and a blog was a bridge too far and something had to go and though on several occasions I wished it was one of the other things the blog lost out in the end.

But I’m back and raring to get started!

So where do I start...

Well I’m going to back track and focus on the biggest bug bear of my Christmas. No not the sprouts, or the excessive alcohol consumption or even the inordinate waste of paper and card over the season.

This one thing has blighted Christmas’s from here to NZ and it again reared its head at my son’s birthday yesterday! Yup, that’s right,  it’s the way toys are packaged!

Picture the scene, Christmas morn and the tree is surrounded by parcels,  your child rips the sparkly Christmas paper off of his first present revealing the ‘Octanauts’ submarine with figures included. Eyes light up with glee and smiling broadly he attempts to open it, but soon frustration sets in and he hands it over.

One sharp nail later and the box at least, is open – only to find that inside are about 100 plastic ties tying each item firmly to the box. These are not thin snappable plastic but thick wire encrusted with durable plastic that would take a Marine with a full tool belt 25 minutes to get into.

The child’s look of excitement fades as they settle down for the interminable wait whilst the toy they had ripped open seconds earlier is slowly disentangled form the cardboard that imprisons it. Their eyes stray to other presents awaiting and the magic of that first present fades.

I know that ‘Patience is a virtue’ but actually this stretches both parent and child to their limits and adds unnecessary stress!

So next year, I’ve decided to take a leaf out of Father Christmas’s book!

Think of those pictures of him, sleigh laden with toys – train sets, dolls, tea sets, robots – all piled high.

 Have you ever noticed packaging on his toys?

 No – they are all in his sack, batteries included, fully made up and ready to be played with.

That’s the magic of Father Christmas and I salute him!

So next year I wont let packaging blight my day – it’s fully formed presents all the way!