I can do this!

So nothing exciting has happened this week!

 Life is as hectic as usual but without any extra calamities to spice up my days. I’m certainly not complaining, don’t get me wrong, but it does mean I have no pressing topic for this week’s blog!

It’s actually been quite nice to have a week where life has run relatively smoothly. I know that usually I am running from pillar to post trying to juggle school-runs, marking, lesson planning and all the extra-curricular activities the children do as well as being Mum, and I never feel I’m doing any of the jobs properly.

So, I am actually feeling quite smug about this last week.

I know that tomorrow (having written this) all hell will break loose, but at this moment I am reflecting on a week where I managed to be Mum without all the stresses and struggles that a normal week seems to entail.

It probably won’t happen again this year! But for now, I feel a moment of contentment.

As a Working Mum, I can juggle it all – not every day of every week but it is possible - I can do this!

Being a Mum!

So it’s February! I can tell because it’s freezing cold, snow has stopped half the country in its tracks, and the dreaded norovirus is running rife!

If cold weather wasn’t difficult enough to cope with, vomiting children thrown into the mix just adds to the fun and games. Add a dash of man flu and an important parent’s evening and stress levels can rocket, as I discovered this week.

(Actually the man flu also turned out to be more than that – sorry!)

The thing is I’m not good with sick! Not that many people are, but I’m really not! So, a night of looking after my son ‘til he finally slept around 4.30am, was nearly the end of me.

Having to get up and organise my eldest for school nearly proved too much, but I got her out of the door and into a friend’s car complete with correct kit.

But that was all I could do, I returned to my bed, posted sleepy son in next to me and put CBeebies on for my youngest. This was how my husband found us, as he descended from the top floor room (where I had banished him to avoid coming into contact with sick – wishful thinking!)

Luckily, my youngest had sat happily on the bed watching a succession of brightly animated characters dance and sing for her. Heaven knows what would have happened if she had been in an adventurous mood!

I was saved by the appearance of my mother in law who swept in and took all small children away from me enabling me to sleep. She also insisted my husband rest and take the full 48hours off as expected after a bug.

 

I woke 5 hours later feeling almost human and ready to face a three hour parents evening ( I was careful not to shake hands despite using antibacterial gel!)

I returned at the end of a long evening having talked myself hoarse to find normality had returned to the household.

It’s funny how you can lurch form crises to control in a few hours but then from what I can tell that is just being a Mum!

I salute you!

So with my better half away for a week, I have been sampling the joys and pitfalls of the lone mother with an awol partner! 

JOYS

1)      I can watch whatever I like on TV – uninterrupted.

2)      I can read my book in bed without the TV on

3)      I can make meals that I want to eat and incorporate vegetables.

4)      No one steals the duvet

5)      Any mess is my mess so I am happy to tidy it – or not!

PITFALLS

1)      Having to organise three children in to various forms of childcare each day.

2)      Juggling being good cop and bed cop to maintain any standards of behaviour.

3)      Making decisions about my children on my own, (even minor ones like should they wear a coat –yes or should they lose a marble from their jar for saying poo – no)

4)      If one of the children wakes at night there is no one to kick and say ‘Your turn!

5)      There’s no one to talk to over a glass of chilled wine once the children are asleep.

It seems pretty even on the face of it but I‘ve found being a single mum – even for a week is really hard work!!

I knew it wouldn’t be easy but was unprepared for the sheer continuousness (is that even a word?) of being both parents rolled into one.

I have several friends with husbands serving in the forces abroad and know that being a military wife, means long periods of absence where you have to be both parents, you are the one who see the highs and lows and you can’t share them over a glass of wine at the end of the day.

 I have only had a small taster of being a lone Mum whilst my husbands’ away but my respect for the wives of those serving abroad has reached new levels. 

They truly are an inspiration to the rest of us.

A Mother's Love

Sadly, today I attended the funeral of a friend's mum and despite the sadness of the occasion, I came away having been reminded of something important (other than the fact my brother has an A-level in Latin!)

As I listened to anecdotes that made me smile, laugh and shed a tear, I realised that they were centred on family and her role as a mum – she was a fabulous Mum.

In one anecdote where her then, teenage daughter was behaving as many teenagers do, she calmly told her ‘ I‘ll always love you but right now I don’t like you very much!’

The congregation all laughed but for me it rang true – a mother’s love is a constant that many of us take for granted.

We’ve all been stroppy, angry, frustrated and frustrating (I’m sure!) but we are all loved by our Mum’s through it all.

A mother’s love is truly special!

Today I was reminded that not only am I lucky enough to have a wonderful mum who loves me – I’m also a lucky enough to be a Mum and pass that love on - a real legacy.

Guilty pleasures!

So 2012 has started with an early attack of ‘GUILT!’

I am in that horrible position, where I have spent time doing something for me and am now wracked by guilt because I have not spent every moment of my weekend with my children.

I work hard in the week and consequently my children see little of me in term time but the pay back is that I am there all holiday. This seems like a good trade most of the time but during the manic terms where I am in school during the week and Saturday afternoons for ‘Games’ Sunday’s become the golden time  - the time I can spend with my family as a whole (when my husband is not working!)

But this week, I chose to employ someone to look after them for three hours while I went out to train with my ‘Touch Rugby’ team. Leaving them in more than capable hands, I headed out with a spring in my step!

 It was wonderful! My brain was filled with all sorts of new and exciting concepts. I was challenged physically and mentally  (a result of being about 10 years older than half the others and still suffering baby brain!) but I still loved every minute!

I’d forgotten how much I enjoy learning something new and bettering myself. I came back tired out but on a real high!

I was met by three children who had had a marvellous time at the park followed by a messy session of painting. But as the nanny left, my son cuddled into me and said ‘I missed you Mummy!’  Nuzzling his hair, I gave him a huge hug as a wave of guilt swept over me. I only have 12 hours to spend with them and I had wasted 3 on myself. My high was gone and I felt I had let them down, that I must be a terrible mother!

It was only today, after two days of guilt, that someone said to me ‘How cool to go and do something for yourself? Your children won’t look back as they take on the world, and if you’re not careful you will find you lost yourself under the title ‘Mum’! Enjoy your children, spend time with them but don’t beat yourself up if you have a goal outside of their sphere.’

I thought about this, and the more I thought, the more I realised that this is true. I love my Mum and we have a great relationship that certainly was not crippled by her playing Golf every Tuesday. The time we spent with a friends’ mother is hazy, it didn’t register as being odd or mean that mum didn’t love me enough; it was just part of life and I am sure she was a better mother for having that break from us.

I love my children and I love my husband but I now believe that it’s ok to love myself a little too!

Take a tip from Santa!

So it’s the New Year and you may have noticed I haven’t written since the end of term. Well it turns out, I’m not an uber- mum.

Juggling children, family visits, Christmas and a blog was a bridge too far and something had to go and though on several occasions I wished it was one of the other things the blog lost out in the end.

But I’m back and raring to get started!

So where do I start...

Well I’m going to back track and focus on the biggest bug bear of my Christmas. No not the sprouts, or the excessive alcohol consumption or even the inordinate waste of paper and card over the season.

This one thing has blighted Christmas’s from here to NZ and it again reared its head at my son’s birthday yesterday! Yup, that’s right,  it’s the way toys are packaged!

Picture the scene, Christmas morn and the tree is surrounded by parcels,  your child rips the sparkly Christmas paper off of his first present revealing the ‘Octanauts’ submarine with figures included. Eyes light up with glee and smiling broadly he attempts to open it, but soon frustration sets in and he hands it over.

One sharp nail later and the box at least, is open – only to find that inside are about 100 plastic ties tying each item firmly to the box. These are not thin snappable plastic but thick wire encrusted with durable plastic that would take a Marine with a full tool belt 25 minutes to get into.

The child’s look of excitement fades as they settle down for the interminable wait whilst the toy they had ripped open seconds earlier is slowly disentangled form the cardboard that imprisons it. Their eyes stray to other presents awaiting and the magic of that first present fades.

I know that ‘Patience is a virtue’ but actually this stretches both parent and child to their limits and adds unnecessary stress!

So next year, I’ve decided to take a leaf out of Father Christmas’s book!

Think of those pictures of him, sleigh laden with toys – train sets, dolls, tea sets, robots – all piled high.

 Have you ever noticed packaging on his toys?

 No – they are all in his sack, batteries included, fully made up and ready to be played with.

That’s the magic of Father Christmas and I salute him!

So next year I wont let packaging blight my day – it’s fully formed presents all the way!

To Dream - Perchance to Sleep!

Ok - so I know it's been nearly two weeks but life kind of took over!

In the run up to the end of term, I have been in work all the hours God sends, putting on the Christmas show, juggling evening duties,Science marking and doing what I actually am paid to do - teach!

Now I'm not one to moan, but I have been multi-tasking madly and despite many extras, through sheer determination I have just about kept all the balls in the air.

At least until today, when my colleague walked in to find me sound asleep on the staff room sofa! (not sure I'm going to live it down!)

The problem is -yes I can mutitask  but I need some sleep in order to do this well. And though juggling the end of term is part and parcel of being a teacher, I am struggling to combine that with the lack of sleep inflicted on parent's of young children.

If it's not one child needing milk, it's another needing a wee, or a third having a bad dream, or because they want to have a cuddle or it's too dark or it's too light!

Now loving mother as I am, a cuddle from my son at 3 o'clock in the morning is not high on my wish list!

I just want 12 hours unbroken sleep preferably in a dark room, but hey I'm not as fussy as my kids!

I know it's a phase and it will pass and soon I'll be dragging them from their sweaty teenage beds but at the moment it feels like it's going to go on for ever.

Every time we get a good night, I go to bed the following night, fingers crossed that we may have turned  a corner but so far .............no luck!

In a recent assembly on 'Hopes and Dreams' I felt awful  as, when I was asked what I dream of,  I said 'SLEEP!'