Recently, I was listening to ‘Pause for Thought’ on Radio 2 and was really caught by what was being said. The gist of the presenter’s words was, that as a war-baby he had seen many children deprived of basics that we take for granted. He wasn’t harking back to the war with rose coloured spectacles, he was pointing out that a little deprivation did them no harm. In our daily lives 'No!' is a word that should be used more frequently and without fear of reprisals.
In this run up to Christmas, where I am hell-bent on finding the perfect gifts for my children,( you know the ones that will make their eyes light up) this comment really made me stop and think (or pause for thought!)
My children have a lot of toys and I mean a lot! They have plenty of clothes and are lucky enough to have a bike each. So when he said ‘....saying no doesn’t mean you don’t love them!’ - it really hit home.
As a working Mum, I do feel guilty about saying ‘No’ and probably do spoil my children when I can. Not because I feel they should have everything their friends have, but because I want them to think I’m a good mum – even when I’m not around.
But actually, he is right!
Having a new toy or new clothes does not say I love you. Spending time with them, reading, painting, baking and having fun says I love you!
I had fallen into the trap of the guilty parent and I hadn't even noticed!
So as December approaches, I’m going to reel in my spending, and choose a few choice gifts. Then instead of battling through the Christmas crowds for days on end, I intend to spend time with my children.
In these credit crunching times, saying ‘No!’ is definitely an option!
Money may be in short supply but love certainly is not!
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