It's not the taking part it's the prize that counts!

It wasn’t until my daughter had her first birthday party invite that I was initiated into the secret world of children’s parties. All my memories of childhood parties, where children strived to be the best to win a prize, were blown away. Children received prizes for losing! Not only that, but once they had got their sweetie, before the game had finished, they were clamouring for another game in order to get another consolation prize.

I couldn’t believe it! The piece de resistance was ‘Pass the Parcel’. It was no longer a children’s version of roulette where no one knew who would win next. It was a complex yet orchestrated system that involved the correct number of layers for the partygoers and a final prize. Heaven forbid you should mess up the mathematics through illness or lack of a babysitter!  Each layer had a prize and the early winners listlessly passed the diminishing parcel round ‘til everyone had a prize and the change of paper signified that once again they had the chance to win. Then the atmosphere changed and became fiercely competitive as the final layer was hard fought, with children hanging on to try and win.

To me this epitomises the way much of our society thinks –‘We wont play unless we get something out of it!’

What are we teaching our children? That life is always fair and that we are all equal. That to do something for the chance of a reward is not enough? That being the best is not fair? Even at a party I remember clearly the kudos of being the best at Musical Bumps. It had been a hard fought competition and I’m not sure my behind ever fully recovered, but there was one prize and I won it. It was the sweetest tasting Mars Bar ever.

How sad it is, that as we head for our Olympic year we are not following the Olympic ethos and are hell bent on teaching our children that taking part is not enough. Surely we should make a stand and show children that there is an enjoyment in participation. I know that is what I would like for my children.

As I watched the parade of parties over the year and my daughters own grew nearer, I was determined - I wanted my child’s to be the party that broke the mould.

But where did I find myself the night before the party? That’s right, sitting on the floor wrapping a pass the parcel with 10 layers for the 10 children, each with a set of stickers.

I could have coped with the adults but I couldn’t face my daughter’s friends snubbing her because they didn’t understand the Olympic dream to participate!

To juggle or not to juggle??

So term has begun and the school run has started in earnest and as I race to get me and three kids, dressed, fed and out of the door by 8 o'clock with the correct kit in the correct coloured bag. I am left wondering if this manic juggling act is normal.

I know lots of people who pity me for working but in our family it has always worked. My husband has set working days that allowed us to share the childcare while making enough money to ensure life was comfortable, if not luxurious.

But this term, as I bundle my youngest daughter into nursery, I am left feeling a little uncomfortable. I can explain to the older two about - work, money and the need for both, but she can't comprehend it and having had Mummy solidly for nine weeks, now looks at me as if I am truly abandoning her. 

I know that I am doing the best I can as a working mum (and all mums know we're damned if we do and damned if we don't) but I am left wondering - should I forego the education, clubs and family holidays my work allows us to indulge in, in order to spend time with my last child as I did my first. Or is it because she is my last I am trying to hang on to every precious moment. Or is that the price of being a third child?